THE ACCIDENTAL THERAPIST/COUNT ME IN
EPISODE ONE
ACT ONE SCENE ONE
INT. ELEVATOR LOBBY DAY
MAN IN GREY OVERALLS STANDS BY JANITOR’S CART WAITING FOR
ELEVATOR TO COME.
MAN SHIFTS IMPATIENTLY FROM ONE FOOT TO ANOTHER AS HE WAITS.
HE KEEPS THIS UP FOR ANOTHER THIRTY SECONDS BEFORE OPTING FOR
THE STAIRS. HE GRABS HIS MOP, BUCKET, BROOM SPRAY BOTTLE AND
SEVERAL RAGS. ARMED WITH HIS CLEANING SUPPLIES HE PUSHES OPEN
THE DOOR TO THE STARIS AND DISAPEARS OUT OF SIGHT.
CAMERA RETRACES MANS FOOTSTEPS AS HE CLIMBS UP FOUR FLIGHTS
OF STAIRS. CAMERA FOCUSES IN ON VARIOUS CLEANING ITEMS THAT
HAVE BEEN DISCARDED AS HE WAS FORCED TO LIGHTEN HIS LOAD ON
THE WAY UP.
ACT ONE SCENE TWO
INT FOURTH FLOOR LOBBY DAY
CAMERA SHOWS MAN SITTING ON BENCH MOPPING FORHEAD WITH
CLEANING RAG.
HE IS USING HIS MOP FOR ADDITIONAL SUPPORT. OCCASSIONALLY HE
SPRAYS HIS FACE, WINCES, REMEMBERING IT’S A BOTTLE OF LYSOL
AND WIPES IT OFF VIGEROUSLY WITH THE RAG. REPEATS THIS FOR
ANOTHER THIRTY SECONDS THEN GETS UP AND STAGGERS OVER TO THE
OFFICE DOOR TO HIS RIGHT. SIGN ON THE DOOR SAY ADAM FINK PHD.
MAN UNLOCKS DOOR WITH A KEY FROM HIS KEY RING AND ENTERS
OFFICE.
FADE OUT.
ACT ONE SCENE THREE
“Count Me In” 2.
INT-DOCTOR FINK’S OFFICE-DAY
MAN WALKS AROUND OFFICE LOOKING AT DIPLOMAS ON WALLS,
EXAMINING THINGS ON DESK, ETC. AFTER A MINUTE OR TWO HE
NOTICES A WHITE LAB COAT HANGING ON A COAT STAND. HE TAKES IT
OFF, LOOKS AT THE NAME TAG; ADAM FINK PHD. HE PUTS IT ON AND
BUTTONS IT UP SO IT COVERS MOST OF HIS GREY OVERALLS. HE
WALKS OVER TO THE OTHER DOOR IN OFFICE AND FINDS IT IS A
BATHROOM WITH A MIRROR. HE CHECKS HIMSELF OUT IN THE MIRROR.
HE SPENDS A FEW MORE MINUTES SNOOPING AROUND THE OFFICE,
PUNCTUATED BY A RETURN TO THE MIRROR TO CHECK HIMSELF OUT.
DOOR OPENS AND ANOTHER MAN ENTERS OFFICE. HE IS A MAN IN HIS
MID FORTIES, AVERAGE HEIGHT AND WEIGHT, SHORT BROWN HAIR AND
A PAIR OF EYES THAT DART AROUND THE ROOM NEVER STAYING ON ONE
THING TOO LONG.
RINCON STILLWATER
Uh…doctor FINK…
FINK
(quickly turns around,
stepping out of the
bathroom)
Um…yes, yes that’s me.
FINK WALKS INTO MIDDLE OF ROOM AND STOPS.
RINCON STILLWATER
Doctor FINK?
FINK
(Points to his name tag as
evidence)
Yes, that’s me, see?
RINCON STILLWATER
Your secretary said to come on in
so…
FINK
(strides purposfully across
the room and reaches for the
doorknob)
My secretary?
“Count Me In” 3.
RINCON STILLWATER
Yes, Misty, she said to come on in.
FINK POPS THE DOOR OPEN LIKE A CORK AND STICKS HIS HEAD OUT
OF THE DOOR.
ACT ONE SCENE FOUR
SITTING ON THE BENCH WHERE FINK HAD BEEN SITTING WAS A PETITE
BLOND WOMAN IN A STRAPLESS HALTER AND MICRO MINI AND
POLISHING HER NAILS.
FINK
You! What are you doing here? Didnt I
pay you already?
MISTY
Hello to you too…doctor.
FINK
What are you doing here?
MISTY
I’m your new sexratarey of course.
FINK
(pulls a cell phone out of
his pocket and tosses it to
her)
Fine, catch.
MISTY
(catches phone)
What’s this?
FINK
It’s called a phone. You press the
right combination of numbers and hold
it to your ear long enough and someone
says hello.
“Count Me In” 4.
MISTY
Very funny doc. Now what am I doing
with it?
FINK
If your gonna be my secratary you
gotta earn your keep; now hold my
calls.
MISTY
I thought I earned my keep last night?
FINK
Misty! Is that your real name?
MISTY
Is Doctor Fink yours?
FINK
Fine, I’ll pay you. Just don’t use up
my minutes.
FINK DUCKS BACK INTO HIS OFFICE AND WALKS OVER TO THE DESK
AND STANDS NEXT TO IT. HE IS JUST NOT USED TO HAVING A DESK
OF HIS OWN. HE DECIDES TO SIT ON THE CORNER AND SUCCEEDS IN
KNOCKING OFF A SMALL CONTAINER OF PAPERCLIPS. PAPERCLIPS
LITTER THE FLOOR.
RINCON STILLWATER
Thirty-seven clips on the
floor…Dammit.
FINK
Huh, what was that?”
RINCON STILLWATER
It’s nothing
“Count Me In” 5.
FINK PICKS UP THE PAPER CLIPS AND TOSSES THE BOX ONTO HIS
DESK TOP. HE MISSES AND ONCE MORE THE CLIPS END UP SCATTERED
ON THE FLOOR.
RINCON STILLWATER (CONT’D)
Thirty-six
FINK TURNS AND LOOKS AT THE MAN SUSPICIOUSLY.
FINK
You sure about that?
RINCON STILLWATER
Check the cuff of your right pant leg.
FINK CHECKS AND FINDS A SINGLE CLIP BURRIED IN THE CUFF ON
HIS RIGHT PANT LEG.
FINK
Holy shit
FINK OPENS THE MIDDLE DESK DRAWER AND LOCATES A SMALL BOX OF
PUSH PINS. HE DUMPS THEM OUT ON THE FLOOR.
RINCON STILLWATER
Nine blue, six red, seventeen yellow
and one white.
FINK
Holy freaking shit, your a regular
rainman, aren’t you? Holy freaking
shit.
RINCON STILLWATER
I have a name. It’s-
FINK
Whatever…
FINK (CONT’D)
(Opens office door and
thrusts head out, yells to
MISTY)
“Count Me In” 6.
Hey uh…secratary, we got a regular
rainman in here. You gotta check this
out.