Here is part of the dialog portion of a sitcom pilot I wrote. Doya, is a 19yr old African male who has come from the African bush to live with his Americanized Uncle and family. In this scene he is talking about life at home and cultural differences with his cousin Shauna.
DOYA: You know Shauna, quite a lot has happened since we finally climbed down out of the trees and began walking upright.
SHAUNA: Really?
DOYA: Yeah, were no longer in competition with the monkeys for the same real estate.
SHAUNA: Well, what a relief that must be.
DOYA: Yeah, as a species they’re not very civilized. They’re more prone to throwing rocks than sharing tree space.
SHAUNA: Sounds like Fresno. Have you ever actually gotten into a confrontation, or a fight with a monkey?
DOYA: You know, that doesn’t really happen.
SHAUNA: But I thought you said they were a problem, or whatever you said.
DOYA: A problem is one thing, an ongoing argument is another. And a fist fight, I just can’t see it.
SHAUNA: Oh…
DOYA: When’s the last time you had it out with the family pet? You ever sat and tried to reason with your wiener dog? Punch one out lately?
SHAUNA: I get your point, DOYA.
DOYA: You know what the nice thing is about having a monkey for a neighbor?
SHAUNA: What?
DOYA: If you just can’t get along with him, you can always eat him.
SHAUNA: Ugh, no thanks
DOYA: We used to share tree space with the leapords as well.
SHAUNA: Serious?
DOYA: Their whole attitude just makes them impossible for a neighbor.
SHAUNA: What attitude?
DOYA: Pretty much the same as us and the monkeys.
SHAUNA: Which was…
DOYA: If we can’t get along they can always eat us.
SHAUNA: So what’s it like riding a camel?
DOYA: I don’t know, go ask an Egyption.
SHAUNA: Crocodiles
DOYA: Better ask Steve
SHAUNA: Stingrays
DOYA: Don’t ask Steve
SHAUNA: Have you ever like, gone on a real safari?
DOYA: Have you ever like, walked out the back door of your house?
SHAUNA: Oh yeah, you kinda live on a safari don’t ya?
DOYA: Kinda sorta…
SHAUNA: So what is the weirdest animal you ever seen in Africa?
DOYA: Oh…I’d have to say, the White Man tops the list for weird.
SHAUNA: I’d say you come in at a close second.
DOYA: I won’t argue with that.
SHAUNA: Do you have dogs in Africa?
DOYA: Oh yes
SHAUNA: Oh cool, what were their names?
DOYA: Uh…breakfast, lunch, and dinner, I guess
SHAUNA: What?
DOYA: You see, we have a different kind of relationship with dogs than you do.
SHAUNA: Okay…
DOYA: Dogs in Africa are kinda like cows.
SHAUNA: What are they black and white spotted and go moo?
DOYA: No…we eat them.
SHAUNA: We’re talking cows right?
DOYA: That would be dogs
SHAUNA: GRRRROOOOOSSSS
DOYA: How could you eat cows? Half the world’s population prays to them. You’re committing Omniscientacide.
SHAUNA: Omni what?
DOYA: You guys are god killers.
SHAUNA: Oh please…you’re makin’ this shit up.
DOYA: I’m bored.
SHAUNA: So…if you were back home, what would you be doing now?